THE DISNEY PRINCE CLUB: WHICH PRINCE IS THE BEST?
by dodamonkey
Summary: All the Disney Princes are sitting around a table relaxing in their club having a good time. They all have a competition to see which Disney Prince is the best by explaining how they met their Princesses and where they are now whilst the Disney Princesses have their own club.


All the Disney princes were all sitting around the table. Some of them were drinking their beers. They were all listening to a story by Prince Henry. They were all having a contest on which one of them is the best Disney prince out of all of them.

"Okay, so I'm in their house, yeah? The shoe doesn't fit any of the girls. I'm like, "what am I gonna do? I'm gonna lose all hope here!" Then all of a sudden, miraculously, out appearing through the door way was…"

"Cinderella?" Alladin butted in cheekily. "In her lovely ballroom dress again?"

"Ahhh! That's where you're wrong. You see it was her but NOT in her ballroom dress. Quite the opposite, really. She was back into those rags and worn out, terrible maid dress. All tired and exhausted from a hard days work or humiliation from last night. Maybe even locked up from her own step mother in a closet. But despite all of that, I still recognized her. She was still beautiful in my eyes." Explained Henry, "so I approached her and tried on the glass slipper to see if it would fit and guess what happened…?"

"It fit?" All princes responded unimpressed.

"You damn right! It fit! THEN WE GOT MARRIED BOOYAA! And the moral of that story is: you don't need clothing to show your personality. You have to show your true self and you'll be beautiful no matter what.

"Actually it just shows not to leave your shoes on steps." Aladdin butted in again. "What does she do now?"

"Now she's scrubbing the floors!"

"Wait, that's no good, amigo!" Prince Naveen said.

"Don't worry, I scrub the floors too. I like to see her reflection on the floor. It's cute. Plus, the mice get to do her fashion and cooking. Those mice are amazing company. It's all good."

"Oh well that's ok, then. Wait, where is she now?"

"She's sitting with the Disney Princesses in their club. Ah yes. The Disney Princesses Club."

"Why don't they just let Elsa in? They only let my girlfriend in? asked Kristoff confused.

"That's because Elsa's not a princess. She's a Queen. Plus they all HATE Elsa!" Captain John from Pocahontas said.

"Yeah! Did you see how many youtube videos that Let It Go video got?" Aladdin questioned.

"Probably like a billion."

"Nah! Not yet. Anyways they're just jealous man! We'd invite her but we knew she wouldn't like it."

"But you guys. Why did you let me in your club? I'm not a prince." Kristoff said as he frowned.

"Cause you're our BRO, MAN! We like you!" Captain John Smith said as all the Disney Princes nodded in approval. All the princes patted him on the back.

"Really?" Kristoff smiled.

"YEAH!" Prince Henry said, "You see, female friendship is like survival of the fittest. Those Disney Princesses, it's like a competition. They all gossip on each other and hate one particular person. Some of them are nice and actually are friends with Elsa, like Rapunzel…"

"That's right. Yeah. She's a real treat to meet, actually. She's coming over for dinner." Flynn Rider/Eugene said whilst smiling.

"…but the rest are just jealous and have something against her. They all think Elsa is the one little kids only care about. ITS 2014! Who cares about them other princesses! It's all about Frozen or Tangled! That's women for ya. They hate each other. Am I right? But us guys? We're just stupid, dumb and don't think or worry about anything!"

"AMEN!" all the Disney Princes called out.

"We just wanna have a good time with no fighting! We're all friends, here! Anyways, it was either you or Hans. We chose you. You see how messed up Disney makes the princes now? Well, we're the GOOD princes so don't worry. You're still not in the competition though." Explained Prince Eric.

"Oh come on!" He laughed. "Well thanks for having me here, guys. It's about time, I'd have some time alone away from Anna. Don't get me wrong, I love that girl to bits but she just keeps singing all the time, "Do you wanna build a snowmaaaan?" All the princes howled with laughter smashing their fists on the table. "I SWEAR TO GOD! BUILD YOUR OWN SNOWMAN! WE ALREADY HAVE A FREAKIN SNOWMAN! IT TALKS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT, WOMAN?"

All of a sudden, Kwazimodo comes in holding a tray full of beers and the laughter dies down. He works at the club and is really close friends to all the Princes.

"HEY KWAZZI! WHY YOU SO UGLY?!" called out The Beast.

"That's what I said to your mom…" He called out. The Beast shook his head smiling and all the Disney Princes whooped making "OOOOOOOOH" sounds and shaking their fingers at the Beast.

"You're alright, Kwazzi! You need any help with that?" Prince Eric asked.

"Nah it's ok, I got it! Wouldn't want to bother you!" he walked away and exited the room.

"Can you serve some noodles?" Li Shang from Mulan called out.

"For the last time, Li… THEY DON'T SERVE NOODLES!" Prince Phillip snapped. "Shouldn't have brought your chopsticks! AHAHAHAHAH!"

"Okay, now who's next?" Prince Henry asked.

"I'm next!" Prince Phillip from Sleeping Beauty called out.

"Ayayayaya. Oh come on. Really? All you did was kiss a random stranger." Prince Naveen complained.

"You don't know the whole story, bro." He said in his defense. "We were childhood friends but then she was cursed by that bitch Maleficent."

"So then later on you kissed her even though she didn't recognise you?" Captain John asked.

"She was asleep."

"Ohhhh riiiiiiight! Hey guys I'm gonna go take a nap. Just try not to kiss me!" Li Shang said as everyone laughed.

"Hey come on! I had to fight a FREAKING DRAGON for god's sake!"

"You did?"

"Yeah! That was Maleficent. I threw my sword and it went into her stomach and then BOOM! I killed that bitch! That's what you get! HA!"

"Woah." Alladin said, "fighting a dragon sounds extreme!"

"It is." Prince Phillip. "And it wasn't easy I tell you."

"So yeah, I guess you do deserve her."

"She's not a prize. Anyway she's always constantly a sleep! I have to do everything around the house! She's a good sleeper though. And we're always good sleeping together. If you know what I mean?"

"And the moral of that story is to always kiss strangers when they're napping." Li butted in cheekily.

"After fighting a dragon, first." Phillip added.

"After fighting a dragon first." Li said.

"Imagine the morning breath." Prince Eric said.

"Yeah I keep offering her breath mints though because she seriously needs one. But she just keeps refusing and keeps kissing me anyway." Prince Phillip admits whilst smiling.

"But you're lucky to have her, right?" Flynn/Eugene said.

"No, I don't consider myself lucky to HAVE her. I don't own her. But I do consider myself lucky to BE WITH her. For the rest of my life, you know, happily ever after."

"AAAAAAWWWWWW!" All the Princes said as they were touched by what he said. "All of us are, aren't we?"

"We'll put you down as a maybe." Said Li.

"Put me down as a DEFINATLY!"

"Alright guys!" Prince Florian called out, the first ever Disney Prince, "so far we got down Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty princes. We're just a couple more steps away from finding out which Disney Prince is the best! Will it be me or anyone else? So who's up next?"


End file.
